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 Top 10 signs that you are shouting too much in church: 10. When the spirit hits you, you pass out on the floor and nobody helps you get up. 9. They change the church service times and tell everybody but you. 8. Your pastor goes around town looking for a new church for you. 7. You shout during the Announcements. 6. The ushers warn people who sit next to you. 5. There's a pool on what color underwear you have on this Sunday. 4. When you come into the church, the ushers issue you protective pads and a helmet so you won't hurt yourself again this Sunday. 3. You come to church with pom poms. 2. Forgetting where you are, you start shouting at your son's graduation. 1. There's an announcement that states, "If you knock off Sister Odell's hat this Sunday, it's on!!"  Picabo, ICU. (A good clean joke is hard to find these days)  Wrong email address A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the very same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail. Meanwhile....somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister of many years who was called home to glory following a sudden heart attack The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read: To: My Loving Wife Subject: I've Arrived Date: 2 Mar 2004 I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. P.S. Sure is hot down here!  Three pastors met and were talking over conditions at their churches. The first pastor said, "You know, since summer started, I've been having trouble with mice in my church. I've tried everything----noise, cats, spray, --nothing seems to scare them away." The second pastor said, "Yeah, my church too. There are hundreds of them living in the church basement. I've set traps and even called in an expert exterminator. Nothing has worked so far." The third pastor said, "I've had the same problem. So I baptized all mine and made them members of the church. Haven't seen one of them since." Jann Oldham | S.O.S. - Supplications of the Saints | Over the Horizon | The Roman Road to Salvation | From the Desk of the Superintendent | TugBoat Times Youth Pages | From the Sheepfold | Holy Humor | |
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